July142009
First off, beans aren’t cool. They’re fucking beans. If anything I’d say beans are pretty fucking average. Beans are so average in fact that they need to be inside a burrito to even come close to being appealing enought to put in your mouth. Plus the fact the word is plural begs the question “how many beans does it take for them to be cool?” Because two beans aren’t that fucking cool. And a room-full of beans isn’t cool either. A room-full of beans is just a piss-off. How are you going to get all these fucking beans out of this room? COOLBEANS CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!

First off, beans aren’t cool. They’re fucking beans. If anything I’d say beans are pretty fucking average. Beans are so average in fact that they need to be inside a burrito to even come close to being appealing enought to put in your mouth.

Plus the fact the word is plural begs the question “how many beans does it take for them to be cool?” Because two beans aren’t that fucking cool. And a room-full of beans isn’t cool either. A room-full of beans is just a piss-off. How are you going to get all these fucking beans out of this room?

COOLBEANS CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!
2PM
If something sucks, I can understand someone calling it ‘weak.’ Weak is the opposite of strong for fuck’s sake. It makes total sense. But as soon as someone adds ‘sauce’ to it, it becomes as douchy and as those skin-tight black jeans they’re wearing. Let’s break this word down further. If something is weak, say ‘this shit is weak.’ Sauce is something you add to foods that are dry, tasteless and essentially ‘weak.’ When you add sauce you make them taste better—essentially making ‘weaksauce’ an oxymoron, and making you a stupid fucking hipster. If there’s anything to learn from the failure of ‘coolbeans,’ it’s that combining a word that makes total sense within the context of a situation with food is fucking stupid. So in conclusion, WEAKSAUCE CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!

If something sucks, I can understand someone calling it ‘weak.’ Weak is the opposite of strong for fuck’s sake. It makes total sense. But as soon as someone adds ‘sauce’ to it, it becomes as douchy and as those skin-tight black jeans they’re wearing.

Let’s break this word down further. If something is weak, say ‘this shit is weak.’ Sauce is something you add to foods that are dry, tasteless and essentially ‘weak.’ When you add sauce you make them taste better—essentially making ‘weaksauce’ an oxymoron, and making you a stupid fucking hipster.

If there’s anything to learn from the failure of ‘coolbeans,’ it’s that combining a word that makes total sense within the context of a situation with food is fucking stupid.

So in conclusion,

WEAKSAUCE CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!
2PM
Which one is it? If you want to say ‘yeah,’ why are you leading with the exact fucking opposite word you intend to say? It’s confusing as fuck and people do it all the fucking time without realizing what the fuck they’re saying. Let’s look at this phrase in a real-life context. If your doctor were to tell you “no, yeah, you have cancer,” I’d say that’s grounds to punch him in the throat, cut off his balls and use the skin of his scrotum to slingshot them back into his face, that fucking indecisive doctor who’s ‘D’ in PHD obviously stands for fucking D-bag. NO, YEAH CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!!

Which one is it? If you want to say ‘yeah,’ why are you leading with the exact fucking opposite word you intend to say? It’s confusing as fuck and people do it all the fucking time without realizing what the fuck they’re saying.

Let’s look at this phrase in a real-life context. If your doctor were to tell you “no, yeah, you have cancer,” I’d say that’s grounds to punch him in the throat, cut off his balls and use the skin of his scrotum to slingshot them back into his face, that fucking indecisive doctor who’s ‘D’ in PHD obviously stands for fucking D-bag.

NO, YEAH CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!!